Can you be friends with an x?

"Later that night I got to thinking about the x-factor. In mathematics, we learn that x stands for the unknown, a+b=x, but what's really unknown is what plus what equals friendship with an x. Is this an unsolvable equation? Or is it possible to transform a once passionate love into something that fits nice and easily onto the friendship shelf? I couldn't help but wonder... can you be friends with an x?"

I totaly agree with the thing writed before. It's really unknown, at least for me, what plus what equals friendship with an x. I haven't solved this problem yet. To be honest, sometimes i dont even want to solve this problem, because guy is so freaky. But sometimes i really would like to stay friend with him or just keep in touch. But how is it possible to do that? Wouldn't it feel awkward?

Sometimes some x wants to be in contact with you, when you don't want to be with him. Couple of my x's have asked me to go get cup of coffee with him or similar. But i find it really weird. At least when i remember what kind of people they were for me. But then there are some guys which i really like no matter what and i would like to continue talking.

The most important factor that plays a role in such situations is jealousy. Lets imagine i would be dating and one of my x's would be good friend of mine. Wouldn't it be weird? Your old boyfriend may be jealous of the relationship that you have formed with your new counterpart. If guy which i would be dating would love me much he should feel a bit jealous about the man, because we have our past - at least i would feel so. So is it even wise to be friend with an x? Maybe you or your x would get those feelings back and want to try again and then it would be really hard.

Somehow it still would be easy to be friend with your x, especially if you have common friends. I have had some great time with my x's friends and now i dont really talk to them anymore, at least rarely. It just feels weird to do that too. Also once friend of my x said to me he would want to come party with me sometimes, go see some new people and places. But it just cant happen because we both don't know how x would react on that.

I checked some chatting places and most women said that they could be friends with their x but just they are not. I think it really depends with two of you. It depends how did you break up. If i catched my boyfriend with another woman, i wouldn't stay friends with him.. most likely.

But still you two have your history. If you've been daiting a guy over year wouldn't it be weird not to talk to him anymore? You have been with him so long. Still it's really hard to start talk with him. Actually, every relationship that a man or woman once creates does remain part of their lives forever. It is simply impossible to get rid off people who have been once close to you.

The two of you have shared memories together that when you look back upon, you will either laugh or cry. But whatever that memory might be, once a relationship ends, it's time to say "thanks" or "no thanks" for everything and move on. It's polite sometimes ask another "how you doing" or so, but at the moment i find it hard to be really good friend with an x. I could be some kind of friend but not best friends.

"Why are you so cruel
When you pick up the phone
When i come to your home
What did i do wrong?

But if you want to stay mad
You just go right ahead
One day you'll grow up
And you'll be a man"

"Perfect" song.

I realised i have just a perfect song for the writing about "Why women need to be perfect?". Im sure this song fits to it perfectly.
It's all about how i feel and i guess really many other women feels. Listen to it, listen to the lyrics. It's some remix but i like it.


Dj Boonie - When it was me

Just popped into my head.

"The endorphins released during sex actually relieve a headache. So that old excuse isn't just tired, it's just plain wrong!"

"Turn up the heat, in every way. The hotter the room, the fiercer the orgasm. Vasocongestion, or the heat flush on your skin, is akin to blushing from sex."

I have no idea where this thing came but anyway. One of my ex-boyfriends had a habit to ask during the day if it can be possible that we would have sex tonight. Once he asked that and then we went to party. He drank way too much. He was going to spend a night at my place. When we were about to go to bed and sleep he said to me "Would it be ok that we wouldn't have sex this night? Would you be dissapointed? Hope you're not mad at me". I was pretty confused and said it's fine..

I don't really get it. It was really weird when i think about it. Why ASK if it's ok to have sex like 7 hours before it happens? What's the point? For me sex is like thing that happens if it feels like it. You don't need to like schedule it! It's not the thing to put to your calendar like "tonight, 9:00pm, have sex". I dont even know how you could schedule it like that. You might not feel horny or what ever at all at that night - but nooo your calendar says "have sex".

Having sex is like going for the moment. It can start really easily when you just cuddle your man on sofa and next thing you know, you're taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. I love sex, it's perfectly normal and really amazing thing to do with a man you love. Honestly, i enjoy sex. There's nothing to be ashamed about it.
I don't believe in one-night stands, to be clear here.

I don't know where this thing popped into my head but i just needed to share it. It just feels really weird thing to do! Maybe he was trying to be polite but got it all wrong!


"She makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up
Just one touch
And I errupt like a volcano and cover her with my love
Babygirl you make me say (Ohh ohhh ohhhh)
And I just can't think (of anything else I'd rather do)
Than to hear you sing (sing my name the way you do)
When we do our thing (when we do the things we do)
Babygirl you make me say (Ohh ohhh ohhhh)"
~Ne-Yo - Sexy Love

Why do women need to be perfect?

"I wasn't going to tell you this, but... I farted."
"Then move your mat away."
"Not now. I did it in front of Big."
"Huge mistake."
"You think? It wasn't a choice. I'm human. It happened."
"No, honey, you're a woman, and men don't like women to be human. We aren't supposed to fart, douche, use tampons or have hair in places we shouldn't. I mean, hell, a guy once broke up with me because I missed a bikini wax."

I started to watch Sex And The City, one of my favorite tv series, again. Im getting soo many ideas from that serie. But this was the one i really started to think.
Why is it so, that even after dating someone for a 6 months or so, you still need to go out, away and fart or similar. You cant do that in front of your man. Where does this idea come from? We must have got this idea from somewhere! Its anyway really.. human. Everyone does it, same with going to bathroom. I don't get it. Tho to be honest, im the one doing all this "be perfect for your man" -thing - trying to cut out all your falses.

I think you can look this thing from different point of views. Maybe we can blame men or media? Media gives you the idea, what you should be; what is the ideal way to look like, what to wear, what to think etc. I remember this one tv commercial about some body lotion which tryed to support young women which aint happy about way they look, boost their self-esteem. So it was all about 'don't need to look like everybody els'. I found that commercial funny, because all the actors in that commercial were really pretty, skinny young women. So for me, that commercial didn't really make any sense.
So from this point of view, we can think that men get idea about perfect looking woman from media. So all we who aren't beautiful in every way, are just left behind? At least that's the one thing im afraid. There's always somebody hotter and prettier waiting around the corner.

"I know it's not the fucking fart.. I just think I'm in love with him and I'm terrified that he's gonna leave me because I'm not perfect"

Maybe it's just inside womens head? Like Carrie says on that sentence, she's afraid to lose that man because she has those 'falses'.
I can relate to Carrie. When im in love to someone, i try to be as perfect as i can be - at least if im really loving that man. I was always afraid that if im not perfect, he's just gonna leave me and find someone who is. But i dont get it.. why i need to try to be perfect? Cant i have the falses that everyone has? Cant i just be me and relax..?

Lets take example like farting. Farting is like tabu. Mostly people think its impolite and disgusting. Still its really normal. Everyone farts! If someone proves me wrong, im gonna give him or her 100€!
Still this doesn't mean i would enjoy farting in public places. But why not? Its normal, but still we're so ashamed about it. Wouldn't life be easier without all these things.

Gandhi said: “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes”. I think there's a big message in that sentence. You can try to be perfect, but no-one is. You can say to your life partner that "you're perfect FOR ME". Its different, you can have those falses but your partner can deal with those. Just how all this women and men could understand that. I know there's exceptions, dont think it so literally. I think trying this, gives you the 'true freedom' and your hapily ever after.

I have no idea what els to say. Its so hard subject. Woman gets the idea that man wants this type of woman by his side and she tryes to be that. And men enjoys it and boost that idea. Its really a vicious circle! This 'circle' for me means that im trying to lose a lot of weight, because i think my 5-7kg are too much, when the BMI says im prefectly normal. But that's just how it is. Im trying to be perfect - im thinking its the only way to get attention, find someone. Its still really exhausting. I just hope sometime some man can find me attractive and love me just the way i am - so i dont need to pretend. Even if i get some extra weight and do the famous yoyo weight thing, he still would love me.
I have time to find him, but its hard when it feels like everyone wants that younger, prettier girl. And soon im just old fart.



"[Will. I. Am]
It's funny how a man only thinks about the... [BEEP!]
You got a real big heart, but I'm lookin' at ya... [BEEP!]
You got a real big brains, but I'm lookin' at ya... [BEEP!]
Girl it ain't no pain in me lookin' at ya... [BEEP!]
[Pussycat Dolls]
I don't give a... [BEEP!]
Keep lookin' at my... [BEEP!]
'Cos it don't mean a thing if you lookin' at my... [BEEP!]
Hah, I'ma do my thing, while you playin' with ya... [BEEP!]
Hahahahahaha"
The Pussycat Dolls - Beep (feat. Will.I.Am)

We're not the exception we're the rule.

Ok i didn't get the "feeling" of writing about this from any song, but from the movie called He's just not that into you. One night me and my friends went to watch that movie in a cinema (which i recommend to all, especially girls) and i really liked that movie. Simply, the movie talks about how women get all those "signs" from men and about finding love. The movie also says that woman who finds her man by some really romantic 'dream come true' way, is just exception and all those women who just struggle to find love are the rule. So maybe im the rule.

I just started to think about how can you find love. Why is it so hard?

I believe in thing called Faith. I think there's someone or something for everyone in this world. I dont really believe that there's that special life partner for all here, but i believe that there's something to all of us. To someone it might be computer, pet or even a lifestyle. It can be pretty much anything.

But really, how you can find it? Some of my old friends have found their special one from some club or pub. Most of the time when someone is trying to flirt with me in the club, they only want that one thing. I have no idea what to do in that situation.
First you can think that he's just bastard, trying to get into my pants, nothing more. But as im single its fun to flirt with people. Still i can't take the chance and go somewhere with him, i might get raiped or similar. So i dont find clubs good place to find love. It only happenes for the exceptions.

Ok well, what about internet? That's the one thing i believe in. I have found couple good men from internet, i dont understand why people think its so wrong and weird. Internet is like the newest dating place; easier to contact with people all around, easier to talk if you're shy and pretty much you can be anything you want (tho thats not so working for finding love).
Also there's that one bad thing about finding people in internet; they really can say all the sweet things and be perfect man but then they're just so different in reality. Literally you CAN be anyone you want in the internet.
So i think you can find your love from the internet, but it only happenes for the exceptions.

There might be many opinion about what would be the best place to find your 'chosen one'. I think the most ideal way to find someone would be by some of your friends or something similar. Then your friends would know some background information about that person and could tell if he's even a worth to try. But that too happens only for the exceptions.

So i think im going to be the rule for a moment. I'll just stay back, look around me and see if someone walks into my way - and then i'll turn into the exception. That still doesn't mean i would stop trying. I'll always be victim of love.

"I may dissect each little thing and put myself out there so much but at least that means that I still care. Oh! You've think you won because women are expendable to you. You may not get hurt or make an ass of yourself that way but you don't fall in love that way either. You have not won. You're alone. I may do a lot of stupid shit but I'm still a lot closer to love than you are. "